Clues That She’s Faking It

Fake orgasms are a plague to humankind.

I believe it’s a heinous crime to fake an orgasm. In faking it, we teach men that they are so good at jackhammering in missionary position that they can make us come with rapid thrusts alone. I’ve been with men who fuck like this, and they act like it’s my fault when I don’t get off. “You’re an asshole, and your ex faked it,” I think, while cursing them both. It’s probably unfair of me to say it’s evil to fake one: Some women have anorgasmia, which is the inability to have an orgasm. But the fact remains that most non-anorgasmic women can’t climax from penetrative intercourse alone (if you’d describe your style of lovemaking as “penetrative intercourse,” that’s your first problem.) Most women need direct clitoral stimulation—way more direct clitoral stimulation than you’d ever think is necessary—to have an orgasm. So yeah, someone has probably faked an orgasm with you. Don’t panic, just talk about it. If you’re dating a woman who is physically capable of an orgasm and you’re concerned that she may be faking it, here are six (for Satan and 69) signs that you’re correct.


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