Like many of us, I had a lot of dreams that I was hoping to fulfill in my youth. A well-paying job, a nice home, a pet giraffe. You know, the American dream. But as I got older, I started to realize that becoming a giraffe owner isn’t a possibility for everyone.
The number of giraffe breeders in the United States is criminally small, and the one that isn’t in prison will charge up the creek. And it also doesn’t help that Christie is allergic to horses, and wasn’t sure she wouldn’t have a reaction.
As time went on, I started to blame myself for my inability to obtain a giraffe. My grandfather had a whole game preserve by the time he was my age, so I didn’t know what I was doing. Fortunately, my wife had another idea for how I could try and fill the large mammalian void in my life.